Dumb Ways To Die YouTube Cover

Hey there...

Okay I know... I'm not a good, consistent blogger.
I do have loads of things to write but I guess I'm not disciplined enough to make myself sit down and write.
Hmmmm....

Well today I feel somewhat guilty for leaving this blog on hold. So believe it or not, I've managed to let myself focus on rambling on this blog, even if it's just for a few minutes. Please bear with me :)

Okay, so the thing I wanna talk about is MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. Sorry for the capitals. I'm actually a little bit excited. Well for those who have been following my youtube channel, you'd probably notice that I had recently posted a piano cover of myself playing the catchy tune "Dumb Ways To Die". My bro and sis in law told me and my girls about this song. It's so damn catchy that I just had to do a piano cover of it! I covered it by ear so I don't think my chords are accurate. Then again I'm just doing it for fun :)

 I used my Canon 1100D to record the video and I'm sorry for the poor sound quality. My piano sucks a little due to moving (from Ireland back to Malaysia).

Anyway, I didn't think this video will gain many views, I mean.. I was just messing around. As of today, this video has received 1,317 views. Wow! I mean.. wow for me! I've never had that many views before. I've never really hit the 1,000 mark. I know it's probably crumbs for some (only 1,000 you say??).
I got even more excited because YouTube sent me an email saying I can now Monetise my videos! All because of my cover video, gaining viewers more than usual. I can now put adverts on my youtube videos haha!

So that's pretty much it for today. I wanted to write about my original song "It's All Up To You", but I think I'll save it for another post (or else this post will be tooooo lengthy). 'Til we meet again readers of the web, soon I hope. Do drop by my youtube channel. 'Like' if you like my videos. Subscribe if you wanna follow. Comment if you wish (keep it nice and encouraging, will ya).

Be safe wherever you are. Take care and God bless :)
~Tania~

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Now or Never

One decision changes everything.

No turning back now.
Only Allah knows best.

The above pretty much sums up everything that is going on in my life at the moment. Not just my life but my family’s, my parents’, my siblings’ and my in-laws’.

Funny how we plan things for so long but the actual impact of the idea never really did sink in our minds, not until the idea has suddenly become a reality. And now I don’t know what to feel. Excited? Yes. Scared? Totally. Overwhelmed? Most definitely.

The utmost important thing that is turning our lives directions, with more uncertain futures ahead, I’m talking about moving. No, not just moving house. We are relocating; moving 10 years of life, experiences, knowledge and memories back to our home country. It is a process that not only involves the physical change but it also affects the mindset and the emotions. It feels like ‘starting life all over’.

I don’t even know where to start now.
So many things to do, so little time.

Some do understand this feeling and some don’t. Regardless, I am thankful for the support from families and friends.

May Allah give us guidance and strength, especially for my kids. For all the ups and downs, the happy and the sad, and everything else… we are surely going to miss Ireland. You have been a wonderful home to us for the past 10 years. Thank you for all the memories. Maybe one day we’ll meet again, InsyaAllah.

Autumn... we're gonna miss you

October Updates

Hello.

A quick update on what’s going on these days… (yes I know I’m not very good at regularly updating my blog)…

First of all, birthday party held three weeks ago for my kid was a success, Alhamdulillah. Foods & satay were superb. Many thanks to Mr Caterer, Usmi. And thank you to Belle for organising the party as well. The candy corner was a big hit with the kids!

best satay ever by Mr Usmi!

 

candy corner by Belle Nor

 

A couple of weeks after that mainly centred on my post-miscarriage situation. Initially I didn’t feel like talking about it but then I kinda thought that if I post this publicly, someone out there experiencing the same condition might gain some supporting information from this.

Basically I bled 6 weeks post miscarriage. Bleeding was medium right after misc., then it went light. But 5 weeks after misc, it got really heavy, just like your first two days of period but instead of just one or two days, it lasted for a week. That’s when I rang the hospital cause I didn’t think this was normal. Of course, if you rang in, the midwife said, “If you have no pain, no fever or anything like that, there’s nothing to worry about. It should be okay soon, give it another 10 days…” Hehhh??

So I googled about bleeding after misc and most of the infos I got mentioned that bleeding should be around 2 weeks only. Okay so maybe I didn’t do any D&C or take any meds, but still you need some kind of reassurance to say that there’s nothing wrong with your body.

Spoke to one of my friend doctor who happens to work in the hospital that I went to, she advised me to go have a check up, and so I did. Story short, they found out my pregnancy test is still positive, did another scan – womb is empty, did a couple of blood tests to find out my hcg levels – it was 7 to 9 within 48 hours. Conclusion: doc said because the hcg level was so low, I didn’t have to do anything since womb is empty (no traces of retained product), apparently my body takes a lot longer to wash itself and return to its normal cycle, hence the prolonged bleeding. Sure enough, bleeding stopped just after week 6. Felt healthier ever since. Alhamdulillah.

Holles St maternity hospital

 

So what I’m up to now…

Well… back to song-writing of course! Coincidentally my brother Illmie composed a short melody on the piano and he wanted me to turn it into a full song. He wrote a few lines of the lyrics and gave it a title called ‘Wounded’.

It is still in progress as it is a bit of a challenge for me to write (and think) like a 20-year-old boy! So like any other 20-year-olds, Illmie wants to write about a girl and falling in love. I am way passed that era by da way. So you can see that I have to walk down my own memory lane and recall my college years, recapped my own experiences in order to feel the song and write the lyrics. Man, it is not easy I tell ya!

But I like the challenge and I’m up for it. I can’t wait for it to finish, and then move on to the arrangement and producing process. I’m hoping that once I’ve recorded the song, Illmie and his friends can come up with a music video for it. It’ll be more appropriate for him to shoot the video rather than me since he is still studying. I would think his university will be the perfect location to shoot *hint hint to Illmie a.k.a lemanggg*

That’s all for now, Happy Diwali to my Indian friends and Happy Halloween!

P/s: Oh, almost forgot to mention that we had a mini celebration at Swai for my birthday and my other half’s (both in October) last weekend. Happy birthday sayy! Love ya!

Swai Malaysian restaurant

Thank you girls for the lovely card!

Par-tayyy!

I’ve been planning to update this blog but there’s so many things going on the past week or so, I just didn’t manage to actually sit and scribble my thoughts. Excuses excuses :p 

Before I go on about what is mainly occupying my head at the moment, I want to quickly say THANK YOU to the people who give their support to my music and my song writings. This time I want to say a special thanks to my fellow song-writer friend Zainal Zulia from Sajakiri for actually featuring my song “Don’t Say Goodbye” and the story behind the song on Sajakiri’s website and song portfolio. It is always an encouragement and a joy to know that someone out there (especially if that someone is also a musician) appreciates your work and the effort and attention that you put into it.
Thank you Cikgu!

 

http://sajakiri.com/portfolio-4/

Support local music!

Moving on…

No new song at the moment cause I’m focusing on a birthday party that I’m about to throw this weekend. It’s been years since I last organised a big party. So this time around I’m hiring my friend, Belle who is a splendid event organiser to do all the thinking!

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Belle-Nor-Party-Event-Organiser/240493909316113

Of course hiring a caterer is also a must since my kitchen is not equipped to prepare meals for a big number of guests. More excuses :p

Here’s hoping that the Irish weather is going to be kind. Hope everything goes well InsyaAllah.

Oh and the past few days I was a devoted reader and follower of the Amanda Knox appeal case. Sure every time I surf the news on the web, the case made headlines on almost every sites. I was actually glued to BBC on TV when they were delivering the verdict. Man, that was intense!

Ok.. that’s it for now. I won’t blabber more on the little things that had taken up my time the last two weeks.

Be safe, be good and have a nice weekend folks! :)

Don't Say Goodbye

Salam and hi readers,

Alhamdulillah, as promised, today I am proud to introduce to you my latest song, “Don’t Say Goodbye”.

As mentioned in my earlier post, this song as a whole is based on an unfortunate event. I wrote it on Sept 11, 2011 but I only managed to finish the video last night.

Yes, this song is about the unlucky event but there is one thing that actually switched the light bulb in my head to actually write a song about it. A dream. Not my dream. It’s my other half’s dream. Before I experienced my miscarriage, my husband dreamt a weird but moving dream. He saw a child, a familiar child, on the other side of the road. The child was looking at him. He didn’t recognise the child but somehow, deep down he knew that this child was ours. He wanted to cross over, to go to the child but he couldn’t.  He cried. He was hopeless. And then the child waved and went away. My husband dreamt the same dream three times before the unfortunate event happened.

When he told me about his dream, I told him that he was lucky to get to meet the child. I wish I could see him or her in my dreams too. And that’s when the words to the song came. The structure of the song was inspired by this dream.

 Another idea that helped build the song was a small conversation I had with another friend who happened to have experienced the same mishap. One of her words that hit me was ‘Emptiness’. She felt somewhat empty at times, and so did I.

And now I present to you my latest song, “Don’t Say Goodbye”:

Don't forget to 'Like' my page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tania-Fiza/15973787778 and checkout my other songs at http://soundcloud.com/taniafiza

Special thanks to Shamsul Zaman for sharing your dream, and for your love and support in everything I do.

Songs arranged & edited using Magix Music Maker 17 and Mix Pad
Video edited using Windows Live Movie Maker
Photos taken using Canon 1100D and edited using Pixlromatic
Models: D & N
Location: Phoenix Park
Song lyrics & melody by Tania Fiza Rozlan
Copyright reserved 2011 TFR.

Inspired!

Inspired! The Sims style :p 

Following on from my last post. Remember one of the unfortunate events? Not event number one. Not event number two either. I am talking about unlucky event number three…

This event plus my other half’s moving dream and a conversation with a friend who shares the same mishap… these three things have inspired me to write and compose my new latest song entitled “Don’t Say Goodbye”.

Nothing like my last song “No Matter What” which is very much alternative and punk-rock style; “Don’t Say Goodbye” is slow-rock, influenced by classic rock bands such as Mr. Big, Skid Row, Scorpions, Metallica and even local bands like Wings and May.

Actually, to be honest, I wrote the melody for the chorus 15 years ago. Yes. You read it correctly. 15 years. But at the time I was naïve in writing. My writing ideas were mostly based on my dreams to become a singer-songwriter. Like many other hopeful teenagers, I wanted to perform. The whole basis for this song is to express sadness of someone dear leaving or to express the emptiness that one will feel when love is gone. I didn’t have any of that kind of experience 15 years ago hence the song originally didn’t sound real.

On September 11, 2011, I’ve re-written the lyrics based on my own unfortunate experience and re-wrote the melody for the verses to compliment the chorus. This time, I think and feel that the whole meaning of the song sounded right. This time it is from the heart.

I don’t want to elaborate much.. not just yet. I’ve arranged and mixed the sounds for the song but I have yet to record the vocals. And then I have to do some brainstorming to come up with a storyboard for the video. Please remember I am doing all of these by myself and I am only a novice especially in video-making. I may have creative ideas in my head but it is not so easy to bring them into reality, especially when I am not an expert in video production.

So until then.. until I have finish my song and its video.. do stay tuned. InsyaAllah, my next post will be the finish product  :)

For more updates, ‘Like’ my facebook page too at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Tania-Fiza/15973787778
Writing my new song "Don't Say Goodbye"

Three Unfortunate Events

Yes. Three unfortunate things happened on September 8th. Some would say luck was not on my side that day. But then again, they were all meant to be. Only Allah knows best.

Let me start with the least unfortunate event…

Unfortunate Event One

My songs didn’t win the Avon Songwriting Competition. Well, in all honesty, I did not put any hope in this anyway. This is a global contest, competing with millions of talented songwriters. If I were to have any hope, it will only be around 1%. All the winners are from the United States. Here’s the link to their songs if you feel like listening: http://www.avonvoices.com/en2/songwriting/winners

Not too worry though. There’s another songwriting competition that I think I want to enter. Hey, I’ve already got my songs done, I might as well put them into use. This contest is even more diverse. It’s called the International Songwriting Competition (ISC) and if I’m not mistaken, a Malaysian has won a place in one of the categories in this global event. Here’s the link to its page if anyone’s interested to know: http://www.songwritingcompetition.com/

Unfortunate Event Two

Only after two days of school, my asthmatic kid eventually got another asthma attack and had to miss school for the rest of the week. Her attack got worse the last two nights. And so another trip to the doctor for more medications and inhalers.

Every time she gets an attack, it is constantly a big concern for me. You’ll probably think I’m exaggerating but any mother would know what it feels like to be scared for their children. And at night, when it tends to get worse, when she couldn’t even talk without being breathless, or having sleepless nights because she can’t breathe properly, I’ll be by her side with eyes and ears wide open for every second, frightened that I’ll miss anything that I might regret.

Fortunately she is improving and is in much better condition now. Alhamdulillah. Hopefully there won’t be anymore asthma attack anytime soon. To anyone who’s asthmatic or even being with an asthmatic person, here’s a Five Minute Rule on how to deal when somebody gets an asthma attack:

 

The Five Minute Rule

The Five Minute Rule contains the recommended steps to follow in an asthma attack

1. Give your child their reliever inhaler immediately, preferably using a spacer. This is usually blue and opens up narrowed air passages.

2. Get your child to sit down in an upright position and loosen tight clothing.

3. Stay calm and reassure your child. Attacks may be frightening and it is important that you and your child stay calm.

4. If there is no immediate improvement continue to give the reliever inhaler every minute for five minutes or until symptoms improve: two puffs if MDI/evohaler or one puff if turbohaler.

5. If symptoms do not improve in five minutes, or if you are in doubt, call 999 or a doctor urgently. Continue to give reliever inhaler until help arrives or symptoms improve.

Unfortunate Event Three

Finally, event number three. The biggest highlight of September 8^th. The first time I had to face something that is probably not in my worry list. I do think about it sometimes but I never really thought it could really happen because I’ve never experienced it before.

I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. Was I thrilled? Strangely, not so much. Not to say that I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t over the moon either. This pregnancy felt somewhat odd from the beginning. Even before I did the home test, I had cramps and a not-so-good feeling all over. Hence, the reason why I wasn’t excited to tell the world at the time. Even my parents didn’t know.

God knows best. I guess it was nature’s way to give me signs and tell me that this will not turn out well. Sure enough, four days ago, the bleeding started. It steadily became heavier until the morning of the 8^th. Bleeding was heavy with unusual clots. I knew it then the worst has come. There was no pain except for a minor throbbing. And then it got me thinking, was I even pregnant?? Or was it just an illusion? But the home test showed a positive sign. I was only in my 6^th week. I was in doubt.

Early Pregnancy Unit where I had my scan

 

But I WAS pregnant. The hospital test confirmed. And the hospital also confirmed my miscarriage. I had to go for two scans to make sure there’s nothing left in the womb. At 6 weeks, it is not easy to detect. The second fetal scan confirmed a complete miscarriage and the womb is now empty. In a way, I was relieved. At least I didn’t have to go through a D&C.

The empty womb

 

Right now I just don’t feel anything. I am feeling-less. It would have been nice to have another baby, I guess. But maybe my body is not strong enough right now. Only God knows.

And it's confirmed

And so, all three unrelated events happened on the same day. Weird but true. What a day…

Sesungguhnya ada hikmah disebalik semua kejadian, InsyaAllah.

Eid and Its Festivity

Today's subject matter is still on Eid and its festivity.

The highlight of the past week.

I can babble on about the over-eating, the tiredness, the visiting, the fun, the smiles and mingling, although some moments were tongue-tied, etc.

But I’m sure most of normal muslims with normal lives who are celebrating Eid at the moment would experience more or less the same thing, so I think it’s best to leave the elaborating to pictures and memories that we have collected these past days.

I’m not one to mingle very well especially with adults or even with people my own age sometimes. But what I love about social events and gatherings is watching all the kids with their pretty apparels and happy smiles, playing and laughing, having no care in this world. These are the moments that fascinate me, thus encourage me to take out my camera, hoping to capture the love and its purity.

To the thoughtful and kindly people who didn’t mind to spend some of their time to come to our humble house for raya, thank you very very much.

Like many others, having friends coming over for raya always put a smile on our faces, giving a sense of belonging, receiving the warmth and happiness from others.

Maybe… if God wills, and things go to plan… maybe our Ramadhan & Eid will be even merrier next year, hoping to celebrate with families and close friends. InsyaAllah.

Apart from wanting to be with my family back home, I truly miss my grandparents too. They were part of my childhood and my teenage years. They were part of my growing up. They were part of my life. I've been longing to visit their graves for the past few years but never got around to do it. I dream about them sometimes.
'Ya Allah, sampaikan salam sayang ku pada mereka. Semoga Engkau cucuri rahmat atas roh mereka. Ampunkan lah dosa2 mereka, kurangkan azab mereka dan tempatkan mereka di kalangan orang2 yang beriman. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui. Amin.'

kampung ku at kuala lipis, pahang

(my grandparents old house used to be clean and well-kept, now it's shabby and in ruins)

the river right across the old kampung

Til we meet again...

More Raya Cookies??

Continuation from the last post...

More Raya cookies done. Oh man I've got to stop!
The kitchen cupboard is already full of biscuits and cookies now. And I don't even know if there'll be visitors or not this Eid...

To cut short, these are the remaining Raya cookies done yesterday:

Chocolate Cornflakes

Homemade Rempeyek 
The homemade rempeyek might look good in this picture but in reality.. 'hancoq'! Hahaha... plus I think the batter is a bit too thick so the they lack crispiness. The taste is okay, I guess but needs improvement. As I said, this is my first time doing my own Raya biscuits and stuff.

Oreo Biscuits with White Chocolate Swirls
The oreo biscuits turned out good. Thank God!

Rest assured.. these will be the last cookies . I'll be wasting food if I do anymore.

On a different note altogether, my brothers just got me playing The Sims on facebook and it can be really addictive sometimes :p



Ok that's all for now, 'til next time, Insya Allah.

Salam Ramadhan & Salam Eid Mubarak

Salam and Happy Friday!

 

 

If anyone ever happens to hit upon this blog, thank you for reading. One might observe that there are some old posts (in red writing) going back to 2009 and 2010. These are my past writings and I shall leave it as they were…

 

 

As many wannabe beginner bloggers such as I, I’m trying to start writing again but this time without the negativities in life (well, I’ll try not to include them). I notice people like to write when they are feeling down, depressed, lonely, sad. Yes, I was one of those people. Then eventually I stopped writing cause I just don’t feel like writing anymore. The common case.

 

 

My opening post this year was about my new song ‘No Matter What’. I love it. It’s interesting to see how my writing matures with my age and my life. For now, I don’t know if I can outdo that song. I don’t know if I can write so purely like that song. Well, ideas come and go, enthused by the things that happen in life, so we’ll see…

Today however, I will not talk about my music but rather on my other likings. Baking. Hmmm.. I surprised myself when I say that. I don’t cook much but that does not say that I can’t cook. I easily get intimidated by others who like to talk about their cooking skills, though. Interestingly enough, I found out that I actually take pleasure in the world of baking, making cookies, biscuits, cupcakes and so on.

For this year’s Eid, I’ve decided to try out some traditional Raya biscuits and cookies recipes myself, with the help of my kind helpers. Last weekend was the experiment weekend. How did it turn out? Well, I’m proud to say that I’ve managed to bake my favourite Mama Carrey biscuits, Mazola biscuits and the Semperit biscuits. Woohoo! *gives.a.pat.on.the.back*

Semperit Biscuits

Mazola Biscuits

Mama Carrey & Semperit Biscuits

I don’t have the proper mould so the shape might differ from the original look. But hey, the kids love ‘em and can’t stop eating them, so that should say something, right.

Raya Biscuits done!

And yesterday I’ve tried out the Suji Pelangi (Rainbow Suji) recipe and look at how they turned out:

Rainbow Suji

Not bad eh.. for a first timer?

 

 

I know I shouldn’t be doing more Raya cookies but I’m so tempted to do the Oreo Black Beauty biscuits. I’ve already bought the ingredients. Hmmmm….

 

 

The end of Ramadhan is near. I don’t really feel thrilled to face the celebration of Syawal over here. Don’t get me wrong, Syawal is a good month, it’s just the celebration of it over here that’s a bit dreary when compared to home. But I really should go ‘beraya’ this year… it could be my last here in Eire..??

 

 

Before I sign off for today, I want to wish “Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin to all my families, friends and anyone who knows me”. May Allah bless us all. InsyaAllah.

The Loyal Timekeeper

No Matter What

‎

'No Matter What' - original song by Tania Fiza Rozlan (copyright reserved 2011 TFR)

On Aug 6, 2011, I suddenly felt an urge to write a song. Was I inspired by something? Well I guess you can say that. I always think, songwriting gets interesting when your normal life gets a bit of a shake. Before writing 'No Matter What', I wrote a couple of songs for the Avon Songwriting Competition. But at that time it felt like I was forcing myself to write. The flow of writing and composing wasn't as easy as this song. But as Demi Lovato said, if you wanna be a songwriter, you must finish writing your songs, even it's the silliest song you've ever written.

For 'No Matter What', I felt like going back to my music roots this time - Alternative. One of my biggest influences since I was a teenager is Greenday. The melody and lyrics just came to me in minutes. I don't know... this time around, it felt easy to write. While composing, I even had images for a video clip popping up in my head. I chose a comic-style video this time. Hope you guys enjoy ;)

If you like this, don't forget to 'Like' my page as well at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tania-Fiza/15973787778


P/s: Lagu ini tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau mati. Selamat menyambut Ramadhan pada semua, Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Songs arranged & edited using Magix Music Maker 17.
Video edited using ToonMagic & Windows Live Movie Maker.
Photos taken using Canon 1100D.
Models: D & N
Song lyrics & melody by Tania Fiza Rozlan.
Copyright reserved 2011 TFR (registered with Songrite Copyright)

Jaded

Tired… so tired
How long will this go on?
Watery eyes are dry now
They’ll be wet again soon
I’m sure
Spirit is crushed
Ever since love came
For a pause in the norm…
Need to get out of here
Need to feel life again
Need to re-energise
Need to be free
Jaded… so jaded
God give me strength

"Feel Ignored"

Feel ignored
Is it ok? Apparently, not
Can’t speak
Then I risk hurting dear hearts
Have been feeling
The sharp edges of love
But still bearable
So far
If I dance along with the waves
Then the evil force will drag me in further
Dangerous
Not just to me
But to dear hearts around me
Sure we care
We all care
We say we care
But do we show we care
Sometime
The sweetness we love
Turns sour but still chewable
We’re not forcing to chew
We still eat but wishing
For a sweeter taste of love
I get it I’m not perfect
Probably paving my own doom
Knowingly or not
That’s why I keep thinking
If I can just take a break
But I’m not willing to leave
I’m too dependent on things
There’s no where but here
I can try to stand tall
Feel ignored
Not anymore

...actually, I'm bored ;)

Sacrifices

Counting too…
Yes we all do…
Hoping God grants us patience
‘Til the day we’ve been looking forward to
But reality bites
Hard on our souls
Hope we’ll survive
The turmoil that surrounds
Need to be strong
For the little darlings
Need to hold on
Even though hope is fading
It’s a long way still
Hope we can still give in
To those who refuse to feel
To those who are selfish to see
Not asking much
Just the ordinary love
Normal for some
Egoistic for others
No point in dealing
It’s endless
So be it
Just praying for faith
To be the only thing going

Things are weakening
Pray that we’ll make it
Trading for
A different set of worries
They are part of living

Crumbling

After one, comes another
Trying hard to brush them off my shoulder
But it keeps coming
Draining me deep within
I’m not asking much
Yet I get very little…to none
How long will this go on?
How long can I go on?

Please understand
I’m no longer capable
It’s a two way street