The Worrier and The Restless

I don’t update my blog very often cause I actually refrained myself from doing so. Why? Simple. I have so many emotions building up inside me that I rather keep it personal. I don’t want to talk without thinking rationally; I might hurt other people’s feelings…unintentionally.

I don’t say much and I think I’m being easy enough but I do think people take me for granted sometimes and think I don’t have any feelings. Sure, I’ll try to be the peacemaker, the pleaser, making sure the happy meter is always balanced but I’m only human. There’s only so much I can do and take. It’s not easy to always have to pick up yourself every time you feel like you’ve been crushed to bits.

So instead of writing and whining about my feelings like most women would, I rather look at this as a situation that most women have experienced and will experience, and would like to share my thoughts and opinion.

Every one of us knows what it feels like to be 'down in the dumps' or sad. We may even refer to ourselves as 'feeling depressed'. Women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression.

But can we not see sometimes that it is so obvious, the enemy is ourselves. Of course, the devil is always happy to lead you to the black hole and pushing yourself further from reality…from God. In most cases, we ourselves create the unnecessary tense, choosing our own traps and laying them all around ourselves making ourselves feel locked in, alone, like no one else in this universe understand us and of course feeling depressed. We fear the fears that we form in our mind, we are vulnerable when we have loss our confidence, our self-esteem and the ability to trust. I am no different for I am not perfect. In fact, I’m always contemplating even on the smallest things. But to complain and drag myself further to the ground is not the route I’m willing to take because I have responsibilities. I have people around me who love me very much. I believe in Allah.

These paragraphs are taken from an Islamic website giving an Islamic perspective on depression:

“However, Allah (swt), the Almighty tells us that the plans of Satan are weak! What joyous news this is for those who have been held in its dark clutches. For Satan works with illusion, while Allah (swt) is reality. Whatever we fear, cannot harm us for we know that only Allah (swt) is to be feared - for nothing occurs without His guiding hand and He guides to all that is good. He is the One who can turn evil into good.

The evil touch, the memory of betrayal can so easily be replaced with the remembrance that Allah (swt), His light and guidance can lift us far and away - beyond time and space - to a place of peace, where the dismal memories that cloud the mind are dispelled in a puff. The heart finds lightness, grace and wispy breezes of comfort in the words of Allah (swt) - the final message to man, that contains all the knowledge essential for our growth and overcoming of the evil within ourselves and in the world around us.”

If you are bored with the repetitiveness in your daily life, that is normal. Unless you are living out of the ordinary either good or bad, you are most probably grouped in the norm which means repetitiveness is part of your routine, whether you like it or not. Maybe your daily monotonous routines might not be the same as mine but the bottom line is most of us have to do the same thing everyday. Repetitiveness can be a joy if you actually like what you’re doing but as we are humans, we are never grateful with what we have and what we are given. Hence, we make reasons to believe that what we have to do in our lives is a pain, is tiring and is insignificant. We tend to look at the negatives instead of the positives. We are in a state of denial and everything else seems pointless and bleak.

My dad gave me this quote which I think is so relevant to our every day lives:

"Teach ourselves to ponder and contemplate more to see better things, not to see ugliness"

“The decision belongs to us. We sink or swim. We strive or give up. But before we choose we must remember that Allah (swt) promises not to give us more than we can bear if we sincerely strive to follow His way, trusting in Him. Alone we will surely destroy ourselves, but with His ever Merciful help, nothing - absolutely nothing is impossible!

Allah (swt) burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. Above all, prayer and remembrance of Allah (swt) brings peace to the troubled mind and contains the only sure cure for the heart that cannot find peace. "Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us."

It is best now that I stop here and keep this post as general as possible for I do not intend to be specific and far from being sarcastic. If it makes you feel any better, I too occasionally feel ‘depressed’ and I too feel like I’m being pulled at every end but I’ll try not to let it eat me alive. It is healthier to strive and not let yourself succumb to your own emotions, sinking deeper to the weak and moaners. Pin yourself back to reality each time you feel you are floating away and remember you are who you are as Allah has created you.

“Hold on to yourself, a friend might give a helping hand but it’s up to you to crawl”