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All original songs on this blog are written by Tania Fiza Rozlan. Copyright reserved TFR 2012.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Three Unfortunate Events

Yes. Three unfortunate things happened on September 8th. Some would say luck was not on my side that day. But then again, they were all meant to be. Only Allah knows best.

Let me start with the least unfortunate event…

Unfortunate Event One

My songs didn’t win the Avon Songwriting Competition. Well, in all honesty, I did not put any hope in this anyway. This is a global contest, competing with millions of talented songwriters. If I were to have any hope, it will only be around 1%. All the winners are from the United States. Here’s the link to their songs if you feel like listening:

Not too worry though. There’s another songwriting competition that I think I want to enter. Hey, I’ve already got my songs done, I might as well put them into use. This contest is even more diverse. It’s called the International Songwriting Competition (ISC) and if I’m not mistaken, a Malaysian has won a place in one of the categories in this global event. Here’s the link to its page if anyone’s interested to know:
Unfortunate Event Two

Only after two days of school, my asthmatic kid eventually got another asthma attack and had to miss school for the rest of the week. Her attack got worse the last two nights. And so another trip to the doctor for more medications and inhalers.
Every time she gets an attack, it is constantly a big concern for me. You’ll probably think I’m exaggerating but any mother would know what it feels like to be scared for their children. And at night, when it tends to get worse, when she couldn’t even talk without being breathless, or having sleepless nights because she can’t breathe properly, I’ll be by her side with eyes and ears wide open for every second, frightened that I’ll miss anything that I might regret.
Fortunately she is improving and is in much better condition now. Alhamdulillah. Hopefully there won’t be anymore asthma attack anytime soon. To anyone who’s asthmatic or even being with an asthmatic person, here’s a Five Minute Rule on how to deal when somebody gets an asthma attack:

The Five Minute Rule

The Five Minute Rule contains the recommended steps to follow in an asthma attack

1. Give your child their reliever inhaler immediately, preferably using a spacer. This is usually blue and opens up narrowed air passages.

2. Get your child to sit down in an upright position and loosen tight clothing.

3. Stay calm and reassure your child. Attacks may be frightening and it is important that you and your child stay calm.

4. If there is no immediate improvement continue to give the reliever inhaler every minute for five minutes or until symptoms improve: two puffs if MDI/evohaler or one puff if turbohaler.

5. If symptoms do not improve in five minutes, or if you are in doubt, call 999 or a doctor urgently. Continue to give reliever inhaler until help arrives or symptoms improve.

Unfortunate Event Three

Finally, event number three. The biggest highlight of September 8th. The first time I had to face something that is probably not in my worry list. I do think about it sometimes but I never really thought it could really happen because I’ve never experienced it before.
I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. Was I thrilled? Strangely, not so much. Not to say that I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t over the moon either. This pregnancy felt somewhat odd from the beginning. Even before I did the home test, I had cramps and a not-so-good feeling all over. Hence, the reason why I wasn’t excited to tell the world at the time. Even my parents didn’t know.

God knows best. I guess it was nature’s way to give me signs and tell me that this will not turn out well. Sure enough, four days ago, the bleeding started. It steadily became heavier until the morning of the 8th. Bleeding was heavy with unusual clots. I knew it then the worst has come. There was no pain except for a minor throbbing. And then it got me thinking, was I even pregnant?? Or was it just an illusion? But the home test showed a positive sign. I was only in my 6th week. I was in doubt.
Early Pregnancy Unit where I had my scan
But I WAS pregnant. The hospital test confirmed. And the hospital also confirmed my miscarriage. I had to go for two scans to make sure there’s nothing left in the womb. At 6 weeks, it is not easy to detect. The second fetal scan confirmed a complete miscarriage and the womb is now empty. In a way, I was relieved. At least I didn’t have to go through a D&C.

The empty womb
Right now I just don’t feel anything. I am feeling-less. It would have been nice to have another baby, I guess. But maybe my body is not strong enough right now. Only God knows.

And it's confirmed

And so, all three unrelated events happened on the same day. Weird but true. What a day…

Sesungguhnya ada hikmah disebalik semua kejadian, InsyaAllah.


Mummy Nana said...

Hi Tanny... It's so bad saying this over here.. but I heard the bad news from Harith late last night... So sorry to hear about your loss...betul maybe ada hikmah disebaliknya.. Hope you ok... but if you need someone to talk too.. I'm here to listen ok. Take care,, and see you around K.

taniafiza said...

Hi Kak Nana, it's okay. I'm feeling fine at the mo. Takpelah, it was not meant to be. Allah knows best. Many thanks for your concern. Take care :)

moms of 2 (for now!) said...

orite , next year!! :)

Liana Samsuri said... sad to her the news..
be strong k. InsyaAllah, ada rezeki lagi next time..

I always believe things happen for a reason and Allah will not test us beyond our strength..He knows best..

take care k..n hope my cucu is feeling better from the asthma attack as well..

take care..